The swing was bright yellow in colour. She and her friends would take turns on it every day, trying to swing faster each time. It was she who came up with the idea. According to her, as the swing went high in the air, at the precise moment, in the precise position, if one jumped, one would fly... “just like that eagle bird Mama pointed out that day.” And of course everyone believed her. She was, after all, the one who made that ‘flying saucer thingie’.
She wanted to be the first to fly, so she mounted the swing. Feeling the familiar surge of energy (or adrenaline, as the grown-ups would say), which came every time she embarked on one of her adventures, she pushed off and kicked her legs to and fro with all her might. The swing rose high and for some reason, the image of her favourite chocolate truffle cake (“the one my Mama makes!”) came to her mind. She pumped her legs with as much energy as she could muster. The swing went faster and faster. She could hear her friends cheering, somewhere far below. At the precise moment, in the precise position, she let go. She flew for precisely 2.3 seconds before she crashed. She whispered to herself as her friends ran to her side, “Next time, I should jump after about five more seconds. Then I’ll fly like that eagle bi... Mama show...” And then, she lost consciousness...
Clever Girl Writes Books.
9 years ago
6 comments:
hmmmm! nice! but i seem to have read this before.or something like this atleast...porbably becasue this is an oft narrated tale...
hmmm.. I second Vrinda.
well framed.
If she fell for 2.3 seconds before hitting ground, she must have travelled 25 metres. Lucky she's alive. Check your math before you take such big risks with other people's lives.
Best of luck with the blog. Too much fantasy and an obsessive wrangling with words. People are liable to misinterpret (such as I have done above). Your posts are short, so unless you are very deft you can't manage to give a context to big lies like 'travelled 2.3 seconds...'. Also there is an inhuman element in timing a girl's fall. You give far too width to the reader.
I recall that movie now: Altman's little known movie, 'Brewster McCloud.' In the movie is is a well-constructed glider. He fell to his death while the audience applauded. The similarity is too striking to ignore.
:::dear vrinda and sonal:::
probably... maybe thats why the story came so readily to my mind. :) and thanks for the comment... hope u enjoyed the other pieces better than this!
ands sonal, i m glad u liked the frame i put the picture of my story in!
:::dear zeinab:::
first of all, its great to find you here... thanks for the visit, and i really hope i havent disappointed you too much as to make you stop comin here altogether. :)
ill admit one thing... i am not too good at math. but ya, i do need to tell you that it is not clear whether the girl remained alive or not...
about timing a girl's fall... i can see now why it seemed brutal to you, but i assure i had nothin of that sort in mind. i had painted the picture of a potential young scientist and so i wanted her actions to be presented more factually. i hope i made sense. :)
about including fantasy.. sometimes, dont you think the best fire escape out of this burning world is a bit of fantasy? or may be i am just a hopeless dreamer...
oh and ya... thanks for telling me about that movie. havent seen it yet.. is it a good one? would you advise me to watch it? and i am really happy to hear you comparing me with a famous person. the 'copy-catting' was done unitentionally, so will it be safe for me to assume great minds work alike? he he... jus kidding...
thanks for the real good comments..
Post a Comment