Friday, April 09, 2010

subtle falsities

Subtle shades of jealousy, painted red hundred times over

Masking it with the sparingly understood word of compassion, false compassion

Subtle shades of sadness painted yellow hundred times over

Not brave enough to trust that people might understand for once

Subtle shades of pure joy, painted black hundred times over

Always afraid of judgement, afraid to be truly happy

Subtle shades of true love, painted blue hundred times over

To not be branded blind, but to be known as loving for convenience

Ah! Such is the condition of the world today that doth thrive on falsities
Thus sayeth a wise philosopher...

a snapshot

leaves bright red and orange
frozen in air
just bereft of their branches

shadows unmoving
never changing
ever frozen

hair flying in the wind
frozen in weird dance poses

smiles stuck to the faces

eyes freezing midway
stunned water droplets
frozen midway

frozen expressions

frozen time

Tuesday, March 31, 2009


i blackened my eyes till they looked as black.. oh black as the night ocean..
i blushed my cheeks till they burned their way through and ate me up...
i bled my lips till they dripped my whole heart out...
i draped myself in pale red...
knowing full well it was what you liked...
i ran to meet you...
fighting them who stood against...

only you never came...
only you never meant to come....

Monday, March 23, 2009

mai best frend...

Her naime is Koel. She s 19 yers old...tre yers yungr t me... but we ar best frends... she levs t saime boks as I favrit bok s 'totochan'... my moma yused t reed it fur mi.. ar musik taists difer tho... she levs rok! i haite it...

oooh... but she s reel fun... she kin maike u laf.. kry... just as it soots her... n i cant eva furgit t taimes wen she has bin ther fur mi..

loog taime bak, no won yused t tok t mi..everywon yused t say i wes mad... den she caime... she wes .. no.. is d best...

evun today sumbudy throo stons at mi.. they also tide things t my skirt .. n i maide loud souns wen i walkt.. they laf at mi.. i yused to kry.. a loot.. eerlier.. but nouw i m faine... i hav u .. so wot if they cant see yu.. so wat if they tink i am tokin t nobody.. so wat if they tink i m mad...

i don caire.. i hav yu.. mai best frend...

a girl...

i heard a big bang to my left... i jerked my head to see what it was... and then i saw her... a tiny, brown girl with matted hair and large eyes... a shopkeeper was shouting at her... she just looked on...

i went close to her, bent down and smiled... she had broken the vase kept outside while running behind a kitten... she looked at me with those large eyes... and then looked away...

i tried to hold her hand... she jerked it from me... i paid for the damage... she didnt react... just looked on...

i left... and then i felt a tug on my skirt... she was standing with her palm outstretched... asking me for money...

Friday, February 06, 2009

broken shells

I turned in my bed and tried counting sheep again. I have been doing this for the past three weeks. I need to see a doctor I guess... or this might very well turn into some complicated form of insomnia... that is, if it already hasn’t done that. I was always a light sleeper. Lights and noise were enough to keep me up for hours. But these days, the house is dark and quiet. It is the loudness of my thoughts that makes me an insomniac, or on the verge of becoming one.
Soon... I say to myself... soon...


I saw him for the first time in the railway station. And somehow, my eyes just lingered on him. It was not because of the ‘electricity in the air’. It was just because he was tall, very tall. And he hefted the big bag he had so easily... I am sure all the girls in the station were staring at him too. And my fervent prayers were answered the moment I sent it up. He sat in the coupe where I was. I glanced at him shyly... on and off... He was reading ‘Fountainhead’... my then favourite. And no, it was not fate. I certainly don’t believe that.
We started speaking somehow... I don’t remember how it started. All I know is that we ended up talking for hours, and I did feel a connection with him... we ‘vibed’ well together.


He had gotten down in the night to get me some water. The train started moving and he hadn’t noticed. I shouted... He ran behind the train, and was almost on the last step when he slipped.


I can’t live with myself anymore. Soon... I tell myself...soon. I’ll soon gain the courage to kill myself for killing him.

Broken shells

So thin the layer was, I shivered
So much that my teeth fell off
And I was turned into this old lady
I stared at myself in the mirror
Stared at this apparition
A shell of who I was once upon a time
I grew old
And saw the crack on the shell
All that I had left
Of this me... who was once more me than me...
The cracks frighten me...
But I am a realist
I have learnt to accept them
As mine own
As me... may be more me than I ever was...