i saw the dream maker
short
stout
with wisps of white hair
escaping
his hair interested me the most
white
fluffy
cottony
escaping
his white night cap
he smiled
a toothy grin
i remember
bad teeth
rotting
reeking
i retched
he said
his hair made the dreams
he was lonely
i felt sad and repelled the same time
the dream maker
he visited me in my dream
he wanted friendship
i wanted his dreams
only
i woke up sweating...
nightmares
constant
short
stout
with wisps of white hair
escaping
his hair interested me the most
white
fluffy
cottony
escaping
his white night cap
he smiled
a toothy grin
i remember
bad teeth
rotting
reeking
i retched
he said
his hair made the dreams
he was lonely
i felt sad and repelled the same time
the dream maker
he visited me in my dream
he wanted friendship
i wanted his dreams
only
i woke up sweating...
nightmares
constant
2 comments:
hmmmmm
i like the idea....i actually love it..there some very good parts like single words making up a whole line etc...and the idea about the dream maker with white hair...absolutely refreshing...but then there are these not so nice lines..."his hair interested me the most" it doesn read like a line from a poem at all, and so forced....
i think u mite have worked on this a little more....
but again...grt imagination...
:::dear vrinda:::
hmm.... will keep that in mind... dint bother changin the 'spontaneous overflow of powerful emotions" ... should hav reworked it i guess... glad u liked the idea tho... :) :)
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